Questions you should probably steer clear of early on: "Democrat or Republican?" "Do you own or rent?" and "What is your faith or spiritual belief?". On that note, Williams suggests taking a careful approach in your questions, as you don't want the other person to feel like you're violating their privacy. "When initially meeting someone, it is important to be inviting and warm so that the other person can initially feel comfortable talking with you." "Sharing personal information strengthens any relationship, and deeper questions focus on that personal self-disclosure."ītw, that's a two-way street, adds Williams. "Topics that get at the other person's inner world-their thoughts, goals, and dreams-will strengthen and increase bonding between two people," Orbuch notes.
Tamekis Williams, LCSW, founder of Mission Dorothy Female Empowerment Services, adds that you want to ask open-ended questions that will allow the other person to elaborate, instead of questions that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no."Īfter all, if you really want to get to know someone beyond the surface level, you’ve got to dig deeper. you should probably definitely know the answer to that last one.) (Although if you're asking these q's of your BIL. Terri Orbuch, PhD, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, says getting to know someone starts with the "breadth questions"-think: impersonal but important biographical info about a person's family, their career, and if they’re single or married, for example. While you might never be BFFs with your BIL, there is a trick you can use to get him to open up a little more. And then, there's those other relationships that take a little more work-i.e., how it feels like pulling teeth to learn anything about your brother-in-law. You feel like you've been besties your entire life and honestly can't believe there was a time when you didn't even know they existed. Sometimes, you meet someone, and you just click.
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